Finders Keepers

So today after tennis I was walking back to my car. To my finding I stumbled into quite an interesting finding. Have you ever stumbled into a used condom? Usually you're just walking and you kick something or it sticks to your shoe. You look down and you got this piece of latex stuck to your shoe and you freak out like a girl hoping you didn't just get genital herpes or type 2 diabetes. Well I stumbled into a douche bag. At first I didn't know what it was. Then to my curiosity, I kicked it some more. God forbid, that I pick it up knowing now what it is, but I was like, this is an interesting device. There's no question curiosity killed the cat but as soon as I realized what this was, I was freaking out like a girl hoping I didn't catch AIDS or type 2 diabetes. I'm so glad I didn't pick up the thing. God knows where it's been. I guess they didn't get the latest memo that douching is harmful.